self imposed deadlines are still deadlines and they can still hang menacingly over my head, scowling.

the thing about knitwear design submission deadlines is that no-body is forcing you to meet them.  you don’t have to offer your hand and be friendly to them.  you don’t even have to return their calls (because they don’t call).  they just sit there in pencil on the calendar square daring me to ignore them.  taunting me with the idea that i’m not good enough anyway. 

i remember the cool girls in high school.  one glance from any of them and i felt smaller, lesser somehow.  submission deadlines are sort of like that.  i get a very similiar feeling  from them. thank God that feelings aren’t really what it’s all about.  whew.

and despite the glares of the little scrawled deadlines on my new year calendar, i conquered 1 of them last night and 3 more just today.  and i admit that it feels really good.  cheshire cat grin good.

now i want a break from over thinking and math and scrutinizing all the details.

 time to knit.